I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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