i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
