thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
