Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
