I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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