I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
