Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
