your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
