Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He shit in the fireplace
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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