Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
