Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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