yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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