Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize