I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
