Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
