my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
