I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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