if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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