Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
