He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
