try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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