just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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