It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Vodka?
Forever.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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