He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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