it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
