Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize