It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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