Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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