i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
