My hair reeks of homosexuality.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize