i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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