is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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