We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize