Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he was CRYING into my vagina
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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