glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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