Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
