i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
this hospital has no fireball
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
