ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
