True but thats because hes a fetus.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
