mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
