I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
