Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Vodka?
Forever.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
