sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just had sex on a roof
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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