I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
