I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
