Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize