she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
