singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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