And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
