I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
