A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
