And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
