every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
