Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
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