Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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