dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just want nice things and good sex
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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