don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
