her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize