my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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