Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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