i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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