Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
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I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
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I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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