just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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