We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Sober January is a disaster.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
